A wheel-builder, like a elementary school teacher, can remember the gifted and the satanic, but not much in between. There were certain builds that make me laugh today, but that caused much wailing and gnashing of teeth at the time. I'm stronger for the experience, and if you want to do your wheel builder a similar good turn, here is my advice for setting up her or him.
Tip 1: Start with the wrong ingredients
If you are packing more than 2 bills, there's nothing funnier than using superlight rims and the wrong gauge of spokes for the wrong application. For this project I recommend starting with Stan's Crest or Stan's Alpha 340 rims, spec'ing DT Swiss Revolution or Sapim Laser spokes, and sourcing your disc hubs from one of the many Chinese suppliers/middlemen on Ebay. Then after said build, come back to the builder complaining of softness in the front wheel.
Funny because: those rims are light, shallow, and have tire pressure and spoke tension (95 Kgf) limitations. That means they're fine for race day and light riders. For any use outside those parameters, nipple washers are required to boost allowable spoke tension. The 2.0/1.5 spokes are totally inappropriate for disc applications. Finally, your builder will be cursing your mother when he's lacing those cheap hubs which will sit in the turing stand differently each time, and then pop apart when stress relieving the wheel.
Tip 2: Demand straight-pull hubs
Preferably with aluminum spokes to lower weight and add expense and frustration to the build.
Funny because: as I have previously mentioned, straight pull hubs don't work well with conventional spoke calculators. A 2x pattern for a 20 or 24 spoke hub is supposed to use a 2.5x multiplier; for 28 or 32 spokes it is 3.5x. But your builder may not know this so he'll eat about 100 bucks or more in wrong-sized straight pull spokes before he catches on.
Tip 3: Exotic spoking requests
See something you like in a factory wheel? Tell your builder you want any of the following: radial lacing on the drive side like a Ksyrium; 2:1 lacing like a Fulcrum/Campy; Crow's foot like a DT Swiss Tricon.
Funny because: all of these things are bad ideas for low volume wheels. For reasons that are beyond me, but are probably explained by some original sin design flaw, Ksyriums have radial lacing on the drive side. Run, don't walk away from any builder who agrees to do this for you. Shock value is the only reason to request a Crow's foot pattern from your builder. The 2:1 lacing is actually a sound idea, but the selection of hubs and suitable rims is rather limited.
Tip 4: Forget how to count
Often the neophyte builder is working with rims, spokes, and hubs that have been supplied by a customer. To the builder this may sound ideal because he gets to practice without having to float the customer a de facto loan until the wheels are finished.
Funny because: when you supply your builder with a 32 hole hub and a 36 hole rim, he will get at least 30 minute into the build before he realizes there is a problem. Can't you just imagine him sitting there scratching his head trying to figure out where he went wrong on the lacing pattern? Hilarious! FYI: You won't be the first to have done this to him.
Future tips on messing with your wheel-builder as they occur to me.
